...and I'm back.

I did one of these in college for a couple of years - I'm not sure what made me stop, but I really enjoyed it...so I'm going to attempt to get back into it. I realize my leisurely time now is more scarce than before, but I'll do my best. Instead of "introducing myself" via blog, I'll just assume whoever is reading this is pretty up to speed on me and my life...so I'll just start from here.

I've found myself in a funny place lately. For as long as I can remember my plan/dream has been to move out of Texas after college. When I was little I wanted to go to Maine, in high school I wanted to go to North Carolina - and in college, I just wanted to live where there was snow. So when Austin asked me to move to Denver with him, it didn't take long for me to make up my mind. What could be more perfect than Denver, Colorado? let me just answer that for you - not much. With the amazing seasons, the beautiful mountains, the sparse existence of traffic...I can't think of many things that could make me love Denver more.

Except my family and friends. When I dreamt of moving away, for those 20 some odd years, I never stopped to think about what that would actually MEAN. What actually happens when you move away from everyone you've ever known. And frankly, I don't like the result. As completely selfish as this will sound, part of me gets hurt when I realize that they, too, have moved on to new aspects of their lives. Its almost as if I expected their worlds to pause while mine moved on, only to hit "play" when I was in town to visit. But sure as the wind, they moved on too. new friends, new loves, new heartaches, new jobs, new hobbies, new hangouts...my mom even has a pool that I've never swam in! How is that possible? I miss out on so much of their lives, that when I stop and think about it the only thing that calms my pain is the idea of moving back.

Which brings me to the odd spot I now find myself. If I were to move back home, I'd be in the same boat. I've made friends here in Denver that I can't imagine moving away from...just as I couldn't imagine being without my friends back home. So what then to ease the pain? Is it too much to ask that they all move up here? I mean - who wouldn't want to live in Denver? (besides the billions that choose NOT to live here...)

This is where I have found my mind too many times to count in the last couple of weeks...what to do to ease the pain? Will it ever lessen? Will I ever not feel a pang of jealousy when Alexis tells me about what she did with her friends that day? Or when I see pictures of friends at aggie football games, all still hanging out like before?

All unanswerable at this point, but I guess with change comes opportunity so I do my best to focus on how blessed I am here rather than look at all the things I walked away from. Its been an amazing, wonderful, painful year in Colorado - I am extremely blessed to have met the people I've met, to have my job, be where I am, and I couldn't ask for more blessings or happiness. The longer I'm here, the more and more it feels like home...but I don't think there'll ever be a day when Houston doesn't.

So there you have it - insight into my thoughts for the day. I'll do my best a.) to not make this a one-hit wonder, and b.) to make tomorrow's a little more light-hearted than this one. until then...