What a Beautiful Day

I got my dress yesterday! Do you think its at all possible that MY dress is even prettier than the sample I tried on? Because I do :) All of the stupid petty girlish worries I was having about "oh maybe i picked the wrong dress" or "oh i like her dress better" all went away the second I saw mine on the hanger...and it only got better when I put it on! I didn't want to take it off...I just wanted to stay in the bridal store, wearing my dress, all night.

I suddenly understand 100% why Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica sat on their couches wearing wedding dresses!

And, with the excitement of my dress, comes complete impatience for December 15 to get here...get here and then PAUSE. I don't WANT it to go by as fast as everyone says it will...I want to wear that dress forever, really!

I think that this was the perfect way for me to try to lose those pounds I gained in college. Its such a funny thing - losing weight. I never feel like I'm any different than I was before, the only way I truly can't argue it is by looking at pictures of me in the dress in March, then May, and now September. My clothes fit somewhat differently, but I still feel like I'm the same size I was...I don't see a difference in the mirror, I don't see a difference in recent pictures I've taken so I think I'd get really discouraged and want to quit if it weren't for the pictures of me in the dress! I'm still not where I'd want to be, but who is? I mean really - I don't think I've met one person who says "I am completely happy with my body, wouldnt change one part, wouldnt lose or gain one pound, I just love it" So I think what is more important than me getting down to that goal size, is learning to be comfortable where I am. Maybe I'll lose the last bit of weight/inches that I'm hoping to lose, and maybe I won't. But if I can't learn to be comfortable where I am, I probably won't be comfortable wherever I end up either - as sad as that is.

I think my mom is worried that I'll get that exercise addiction disorder (i'm not sure what its called) She keeps stressing that I'm the "perfect" size right now...that I don't need to lose one more pound. But I think I have a pretty good outlook and rational mind about it all. I can see how one could get that disorder though - once you've gone to the gym on average 5 times/week for 8 months, its hard to imagine not going. But I think I'll be able to curb what I'm doing, and how often I'm doing it, in order to just maintain a healthy weight and build rather than lose too much or gain it all back.

Or maybe I'm being overly optimistic. I did just get my wedding dress yesterday, and I feel on top of the world. Is being overly optimistic for one day really all that bad?

and a quote I found the other day that I'd love to be able to say I live by:
Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier. ~Mother Theresa